scars

I write this morning to remind myself ... of something I learned in conversations this weekend. Perhaps it is one of those lessons I already knew, but was reminded in a different context. The lesson is more important than the setting of the conversation. Often in this life we find ourselves deeply wounded and it is often tempting to simply return to what we were doing before (it happened). This sometimes occurs when someone is in a position of leadership and wants to quickly return to full capacity after a deep hurt. GOD needs to have us take a time of healing before we return to the arena. Eventually the healing will occur and scars will form where the wounds were. GOD could have raised Jesus from the grave - even before he was placed there. It wasn't like he needed three days to get it all together! But instead, he did allow three days to pass ... a brief time from some perspective ... but an eternity for the son who had never been separated from the Father. When Jesus did reappear to his disciples, there were no open wounds - still bleeding and oozing. There were scars. Even Thomas was made to touch the scars! The healing had taken place and Jesus was back - ready to assume his ministry again.
It is both inappropriate and ineffective for us to attempt to return to the world of 'business as usual' after a deep wound has invaded our life. We need to wait a season; allow GOD his time to heal those wounds so that others may see the scars from the healing. It's a lot less messy that way also.

serendipity?

The beginnings of a new school year are always marked with new challenges and the whims and whinings of a new administrator or a new superintendent or a new process or practice that is going to "change the world as we know it". That is the expectation and attraction to teaching - that each year one is provided the opportunity to do things differently, start over, reinvent the wheel, etc. But this year has been different. The preparation for and the start of a new school year have been beyond challenge...beyond the typical ... and it has been extremely frustrating ... the kids are getting the brunt of it. The frustration is not mine alone - most of our teachers are caught up in the maelstrom of autocratic change that often seems to exist simply to change. The pendulum will always swing - but we seem to be caught in a swing so abrupt we are suffering from whiplash. Perhaps this is following on the heals of our national pendulum swing in government intervention and control and simply complicates things. Then there is the "other stuff" ... two colleagues have shared personal family crisis with me in the past week - another friend shared her daughter's promiscuity and self destructive behavior - still another is about to lose their job and their spouse just underwent surgery that will take weeks to rehab. and this all in the past two days... and then the letter came! Actually it was a global mailing from Ransomed Heart - the ministry of John Eldridge, but it seemed as if he had written it directly to me. He recounted almost the same story I've just outlined. He said he had been reminded of the line from Thomas Paine, "These are the times that try men's souls." Yes, I'd also thought of that line. When he prayed about his frustration and the hopelessness that surrounds us in a world that is so broken, he said his response was simply - "Union with me ..." Well I was already there, but perhaps needed a reminder. Yesterday morning I read from Galations and Paul continually reminds us to put our trust in the Lord ... grace and mercy. Grace and mercy! Yes, it is enough! I have greatly summarized both a two page letter and the letter of Paul to those in Galatia, but what a serendipity to have those two letters come on the same day. I wonder if John actually sent that letter to thousands of other men or if I was the only one? There are no serendipities in Jesus - I'm convinced that he provides enough grace and mercy at just the right times to save our lives from the pool of hopelessness in which we often swim and to empower us to rescue others. Grace and mercy ... serendipity?

It has been over three months since I posted an entry here. I don't know why ... really. Why I've chosen today to return...? One of the advantages of teaching school is that each year one has opportunity to start afresh ... new beginnings... and the return to good habits and more predictable rhythms. I just went back and read my last entry, following a thunderstorm - again one of my most fulfilling enjoyments. I was fortunate enough three weeks ago to walk through a section of the Continental Divide from Thirty Mile Campground to Squaw Lake with my daughter, my son, and soon-to-be daughter in law. The first night we spent three and a half hours in a thunderstorm - in the safety of shelter. We also had our opportunities to walk in the rain, but for the most part the rain was timely ... allowing us time to put up our tents and put on our rain gear. There is something awesome and sobering about being in a thunderstorm above treeline. It's as if you could reach out and touch the Almighty himself, but also fearful that He might touch you.

Such is life ... we are often [too often] lulled into the mundane of day to day living ... failing to recognize that we are in a thunderstorm - every day. I pray that I would realize the nearness of the clouds and acknowledge the showers of blessings each day ... the nearness of GOD ... and not be fearful that He might touch me ... and I would be changed forever. Thank you Father for the thunderstorms ... for the nearness of your touch ... for the cleansing of your showers. Please bring the rain. Please bring your reign.